Girls who need to take a reality check

Ok, so from going on facebook I have now decided I have an issue I feel really strongly about, and therefore want to talk about on my blog.

So there are a lot of girls out there who act like this and it's really bugging me right now. Here is just a list of things that bug me about girls basically.... it's literally a list of girls that NEED to take a Reality Check. So if this sounds like something you might come under, then you might want to stop, think and readdress your life.

1. Girls who are like 12 years old wearing a full face of make up. Like, just no! Who even does this? Like when did this craze start happening? Cos I deffo DID NOT ever walk around with a full face of make up at that age. In fact I didn't even know what most make up was if I'm honest, at that age. And to be quite frank with you, I didn't even start wearing a full face of make up until I was 19. And even now, I don't wear a lot of make up. Just stop wanting to grow up so fast and take a chill pill! If you go around looking like a 20 year old woman and you're only 12 years old, then don't go acting all shocked if a pervy old man starts hitting on you. Basically, you're asking for it. If you don't want that sort of attention, just don't do it?

2. Girls who wear extensions that look like a piece of straw just grew out their head. Ummm why do you think that looks good may I ask?? Don't get me wrong, hair extensions can look absolutely amazing (on some people)... but when it's done right. Firstly- pick the right colour for your hair!! There is nothing worse than looking like a two-toned idiot. Secondly- pick extensions that actually look like human hair, not like someone just sat there sewing loads of barbie doll fake hairs to a massive wig. Thirdly- make sure it's not all knotted and shit. Nothing worse than going out with fake hair that's the wrong shade, half falling out...

3. Girls in clubs that wear like no clothing. a) how the bloody hell are you not absolutely frozen??! (Usually these are the nutters who go out without a coat too.. madness!) and b) what makes you think boys like that shit? Honestly, I can tell you now that they don't. I've heard it straight from the horses mouth (so to speak) and I've been told by very reliable first hand sources that girls who dress and act like 'icy farts' will be treated as an 'icy fart' (work out the rhyming slang I just oh so amazingly created and you'll understand...I'm actually quite proud I made this up)

4.  Girls who make themselves look like oompa loompas. I have never ever understood, nor will I ever understand, why you or the people around you do not realise you look like Willy Wonka asked for another helper in his chocolate factory. If you look like you've been tangoed and you obviously can tell in photos (and a mirror...that I assume you'd use to apply said make up??!) then why on earth do you continue to buy the wrong shade of foundation for your skin STILL???! I mean, it's never like even REMOTELY close to the colour of your skin? It truly baffles me! I am utterly bamboozled! Sort your life out please. Or next time I see one of your kind I will oh so kindly start singing the oompa loompa theme song in your face til you get the hint and go buy some new shade of foundation that is a better match to your skin tone.

5. Girls who pull this face: THE POUT. The dreaded pout. The face that I see pulled by almost every single girl in photos from nightclubs. Like, why is this something that happens?? I mean, don't get me wrong, I LOVE posing for the camera! BUT I do it in a way to take the p*** out of myself, I'm not serious when I pull my silly poses for photos... but (DIFFERENCE!) you lot are actually being so serious....it's slightly worrying. I get that people are copying posh spice and other 'celebs' but I'm pretty sure last time I checked, most people own teeth.. and everyone looks so much nicer when they smile, so why not just show some teeth man and do the cowell instead. Make Simon proud of those pearly whites!

6. Girls who drink too much. When you go out dressed so nicely for a night out with the girls, why on earth ruin that for yourself and drink yourself silly? When I see girls crawling (sometimes literally...) along the street at stupid AM in the morning drunk as a skunk and high off their faces, completely oblivious to the outside world and its dangers, I find this more than slightly worrying. Espesh when the majority of the time they are alone, probably unsure of what their name is let alone know where they are and how to get home safely! Another reason for being utterly confused why drinking so much is deemed 'cool': the vom. Why would you purposely drink so much that you puke it all up again (along with that curry you had earlier for dinner)... It's something I really DO NOT want to see on the side of the road the morning after whilst I'm waiting to cross a road.

7. Girls who idolise the idiot from TOWIE. Oh boy, I don't even know where to begin with this one if I'm honest.. I for one really can't put into words how much I dislike this stupid programme (soz if you like it but to me it's a pile of poo). I don't understand the big hype tbf. Espesh over this joey guy? Like who even is he? What has he even done to make himself so appealable to you? (deffo just made up a new word right there..) He's certainly not famous (though I'm sure he'd like to think he is) so why the big screams over him? Madness! And the girls that you idolise from this programme...why would you style yourself on them? False eyelashes, false hair, false skin colour (with the help of spray tans/fake bake/sun beds/whatever)... can you not tell they are FALSE??! Be yourself! Be an individual. Be unique and celebrate that you're amazing. And for the love of God...do not join the oompa loompa crew!

8. Girls who throw up in the loo in clubs. 'Nuff said. (Though I guess at least you didn't vom all over people on the dancefloor...)

9. Girls who cry down the phone to their friends at the end of a night out. Think about what you look like to other people... Seriously, if you're that upset and alone, maybe you should reassess who you go out with? Cos I'm assuming that person on the phone wasn't with you in the club...and if they were and they left you in that state then, again, reassess who your real friends are. Who leaves their mate in that state crying on the side of a road looking like they got dragged through a hedge backwards?!

10. And lastly, girls who scream.at.everything. I understand screaming. But scream when there's a need to scream (i.e. at a scary movie.. or when someone freaks you out and makes you jump) but not for the sake of it. I see way too many teenage girls screaming and squealing at each other on the bus or in the street, for no apparent reason... just cos they can. It's highly irritating, please refrain from doing this and think of the poor ears of your elders. Thank you.

So this rant is now over about girls...for now anyway! Soz if I offended you in any way (no offence meant) but obv if you were offended then it means you probs fall under one of these 10 categories, so you may wanna have a think...

Night night x

Living in HoR

Kinda realised tonight that I haven't posted anything in a while (oOps. My sincere apologies) and I didn't really have anything amazeballs to say or discuss with you....so again, sincere apologies and all that, if this post is well weird like. But you'll have to deal with it I'm afraid, as I'm bogged down with a load of assignments at the moment! So tonight I'm going to discuss the topic of living in halls of residence...

So if you're one of those oh so lucky people who has had the joys of living in a Halls at University, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about here.

Right, let me set the scene first. So, last year I had the wonders of living with ALL GIRLS. And let me tell you now it was utter hell on earth. I got on with 2/6 of them, which considering I had to live with them for nearly a year, meant I was constantly missing home/staying at friends houses/just generally hiding in my pit.

But anyway, rant over...for now.
This year, I seemed to have an amazing flat... until 'he-who-must-not-be-named' moved in. So, I'm assuming (hoping/wishing/praying) that this only goes for this one person, and not every foreigner. But basically, he has the weirdest and most gross, annoying habits known to mankind. And, just to get this all off my chest, I'd like to share them with you. (For those of you who adore Jenna Marbles as much as I do, then you'll realise this is kinda like her video about her crazy flatmate: inspired!)

1. When 'he-who-must-not-be-named' is in the kitchen: He will use everyone else's crap to cook with/eat with etc so everything is gross and covered in weird cooking stuff on the side. He will cook food (with meat) (I'm a veggie) and leave it on the hob uncovered... for about a week sometimes. He will start to half cook/prepare a meal, and then leave it there for the whole day.
2. When  'he-who-must-not-be-named' is using the fridge: He will leave weird shit all over the place, uses other people's crockery to hold his weird concoctions, use other people's food/drink, drink milk from the carton (for me, this is the worst habit ever).
3. When  'he-who-must-not-be-named' is in the bathroom: Let's just say it's not pleasant to go in there after he has been in there...
4. When  'he-who-must-not-be-named' is in the bedroom: I can hear him talking in his language REALLY LOUDLY and it sounds like he's constantly arguing with someone. He smokes (or did, not sure if this still happens.. but it stunk my room out). He leaves his keys in the door at night (bit confused why you would do this? If someone breaks in a) they could take your keys b) they could take an imprint of your keys and then come back when everyone's out and steal your stuff c) anyone could get in your room). He plays darts against my wall so I hear banging noises in my room. He listens to weird music and films SO LOUD, it could probably power the electricity in our whole flat.

So basically, I just think there has to be someone in charge of accomodation who just loves to bung me in a flat with at least one person I won't get on with. I feel it might be like Big Brother where they're filming my reactions and laughing. Slightly worried about who I'm going to end up with next year...

Wish me luck- fingers crossed
x