Why I want to be a seahorse.

So basically I've decided being a girl SUCKS. So, I've decided I'd quite like to be a seahorse.
(Hear me out here)

1. Seahorses are just awesome in general.
2. They don't have a care in the world. They can do whatever the hell they want, whenever they want.
3. They have the freedom of an ENTIRE OCEAN.
4. The men have to give birth. (Ok, so this is kind of my main reason why I want to be a seahorse..)

I mean, you name me one female who would not like to be a seahorse. Especially after my awesome reasonings. It just makes so much more sense.

Being a girl is awful (most of the time) because:

a) You have to constantly look nice otherwise you get people giving catty remarks behind your back OR if they're even more of a bitch they do it to your face
b) We have to carry a foreign body inside us for nine months and then pop it out (as if you haven't been in enough pain for the last nine months) ** I wanna just point out at this point that I do not know this from personal experience, because I'm not a teen mum
c) Periods: Hell on earth.
d) Boys treat girls like dirt the majority of the time. If you find a good guy, for god's sake don't let him go! He is a rarity of mankind.
e) You have to watch everything you eat because girls (and guys) will start slagging you off if you start to even gain the tiniest millimetre of fat on your body.
f) You want to constantly consume a mass of chocolatey products/fatty foods at a certain time around every month. And then you get upset cos you gained weight or you ruined your healthy diet. It sucks.
g) You seem to always have to be in control of yourself and what you say. If you let something slip, you'll never live it down.
h) YOU NEVER HAVE ANYTHING TO WEAR! (Even when your wardrobe is bursting to the brim and you just went shopping last weekend and bought like three new outfits)
i) You get judged if you wear the same outfit out more than once.
j) You get judged if you're photographed wearing the same outfit out more than once.

Well, that was my opinion anyway..
So yeah. That's why I would like to be a seahorse.
x